Thank you, Keurig

I love my Keurig. I mean, really, really love it. It gives me energy, it gives me warmth, it gives me that last little push to make it through the day - I love it. Not that anyone cares, but, Done Jumped Judy has been on a hiatus for quite a while now. Things have been dark. Things have been ugly - but they're looking better. I've been dealing with a lot...and in that, I've had to work on how I deal with things. This kinda means I've had to reset my character, and you know what, I realized that there are some parts of my character that are really ugly.

Well, every time I use my Keurig, I go back to a memory of one of my friends. I go back to coffee runs, frantically making our coffee, cleaning up messes, laughing, sharing stories, sharing life, sharing friendship. I go back to one occasion in particular - where we had made a miscalculation on how much water to put in it - and created a huge mess. It was a mess that kept on giving....water and coffee continued to freely flow until well after the Kleenex and towels had been used. But we laughed.

I haven't been able to shake why I kept going back to this memory. Why did this stick out in my mind? Then, earlier today, I got it. With all the character demolition I've been doing - I've realized that this is one person whom I've been absolutely horrible to. I mean bad, inexcusable, unacceptable behavior. Why? Well, I wish I could give you a reason. How I wish I could say that it was because they'd breached our friendship. Or because they were messing with my man. But the truth is - I got caught up. I got caught up in drama. I got caught up in being snarky. I got caught up in being selfish. And I was MEAN. I was so wrong. I took things out of context - and instead of trying to clarify them based on the character I knew they had - I clung to them as my rite of passage into Haterville. I am so ashamed of how I treated them. Of how I continued to treat them long after I had a minute excuse.

I'm working on contacting them and hopefully giving them some answers. This will mean explaining a horrible side to myself. A side I'm not proud of. But part of cleaning out my character closet is looking some things right in the face and shredding them to pieces. I need this experience. I need to apologize. I need to be humbled. I need to give them some answers.

I'm not saying that I'll never find myself in the position of selfishness or being caught up in drama again. One thing that is blaringly obvious to me now is that it is, sadly, part of my character. But I hope that after I put my character through the spin cycle, after I humiliate it, and hopefully beat it into submission, it'll be less likely to jump aboard the train to Haterville.

So, thank you Keurig. Thank you for giving me memories that have led me to confronting some character issues. And thank you friend, for hearing me out. Your character is beautiful.