Group Work With a Moral

My students are finishing up a massive project. We've given them two weeks to create a presentation over TAKS vocabulary words as well as a handout - the only catch is that it has to be creative. They absolutely love it. I chose groups with extreme care and tried to put complementary personalities together. My "matchmaking" was both successful and a hot mess. But we're making it. Like I said, the kids love it, I just kinda struggle through.

My first year teaching, I didn't believe in group work. Well, let me rephrase that, it's not that I didn't believe in it...I knew that part of my job was helping students learn how to collaborate and work together...but it scared me. I preferred straight, neat rows of 5 compared to clumped, scattered desks. I preferred clean carpets and aisles, compared to glitter and stick glue. I preferred silence to the eternal yapping that accompanies group work. I preferred my way compared to seeing how it went.

I remember the first time I attempted group work. It actually wasn't a disaster. It went smoothly...and my kids were having fun. It wasn't silent but it was productive. It wasn't neat and orderly, but it was engaged. It made me feel successful.

Now, here's the moral to my story. I've been thinking a lot about my life lately. It seems like, right now, I'm just a bundle of stress. There's conflict and confrontation in many different directions. I feel like I'm in charge of SO much. Sometimes I feel like I can't misstep or fall out of line, even for a second, because it'll instantly be under scrutiny. So, here I am, frantically trying to keep my rows straight and the glitter off the floor - all the while the world is having a silly string/confetti party in my classroom!

I'm tired. I'm weary. Maybe even a little broken. I'm at the end of my rope. I feel like I can't hang on even a second longer. But, you know what...sometimes God has to get me to that point so that I'll let go. So that's what I'm working on right now. Letting go. Letting fear, doubt, worry, disappointment, frustration...letting it all go. I'm learning that if I focus on the rows, and the silence, and the control...I'm probably going to miss out on something big.

So...I'm letting go.